I spent this summer on the East Coast visiting my family. Some of my most treasured memories of this trip were spending precious time with my one-year- old nephew, Drew. In Drew’s early months he slept in his parents’ room with an Arm’s Reach Co-sleeper attached bed. This allowed for him to be within arms reach when my sister would breastfeed him during the night.
The co-sleeper created a family-bed feel while giving Drew his own space.
Knowing that I would be writing about co-sleeping for this month’s parenting tip, I thought it would be good for me to try it out. I wanted to take particular notice of how I felt and what I observed from him on our overnight adventure.
On our first sleepover, Drew slept in his nursery room at my parents’ house. He has a crib and goes to sleep easily in there. The room I slept in was right next to his. During the night, he woke once and his cry startled me. I quickly leapt out of my bed to go soothe him. I noticed he wanted to be snuggled and so I brought him to bed with me. The next sleep over, my mom put him to sleep in his crib and once he fell asleep I scooped him up and brought him to bed with me. We snuggled sweetly, curled comfortably into each other’s bodies. When he woke in the middle of the night he didn’t cry, but instead stroked my face with his hand and said my name. I gave him some coconut water to drink and he quickly fell back asleep. Both of our bodies were naturally relaxed, and I loved that when he woke up I didn’t experience the full body adrenaline rush I had when he was crying in his crib earlier in the summer.
If Drew were my own baby, I know there would be many other factors to consider when deciding whether or not to co-sleep. Although whatever parents choose will ultimately work out within the unique dynamics of their family, I believe that if babies had a voice, they would choose to stay close to their parents during the night. I remember my sister sleeping in bed with my parents until she was about 4 years old. No matter how hard they tried to get her to stay in her bed at night, she intuitively found her way to their bed.
As humans, we are meant to be connected to our parents. As a society, however, we are quick to push our babies away, putting them in strollers and in their own cribs in separate rooms. Yet in many cultures, it is considered normal for parents to sleep with their children. Recent research has shown that some of the benefits of co-sleeping include better quality of sleep for mothers and reduced risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) for babies.
I recommend researching the topic of co-sleeping by looking online and talking with other parents who have personal experience with co-sleeping. The ICPA (international Chiropractic Pediatric Association) has several beautifully written articles which I found at: http://icpa4kids.org/Wellness-Articles/Co-sleeping/
Being surrounded by conscious parents, who I trust make informed decisions that are right for their families, I decided to ask what some of them had to say about the topic of co-sleeping so I could share their responses with you. Here are some of their comments:
“We slept with our son Chooch until he sorta naturally got big and needed more space. Then we just went to a twin mattress on the floor between our big bed and the wall. If he happens to wake up in the night he might get up in bed with us, which is fine. It is all very mellow. Now we are talking about making the upstairs bedroom all his and the downstairs guest bedroom ours and he is ready! (He just turned 4).”
“Co-sleeping is the best decision we have made. Love that I don’t have to wake up in the middle of the night and get out of bed to feed him, he is a great cuddler. Waking up with the baby right there with you is the best feeling ever. He is still pretty young and we haven’t decided when he’ll get his own space—we are kind of just going with the flow right now. I loved it until the kids were about 1. I always made a big point of putting them to bed on their own but would take them into bed after the first night feeding. Once they were around 1, it started to interfere with both of our night’s sleep but it took probably 6 months to break the habit and this involved creating rewards charts to motivate them.”
“I always put them to bed on their own because I thought it was important to send the message that they were safe in their own bed and by themselves and I also wanted to protect mommy/daddy private time for the first half of the night. I also didn’t want to have to lie down with them to get them to sleep every night which eats into grown up time.”
“I love snuggling up to my 6-month-old and being right there for all of his night time needs. We both sleep better. We did it with our first son and then transitioned him to his own bed at 18 months with zero problems. There are only a few years in life we can do it, so I cherish every moment of co-sleeping.”
“We do a bit of a combo too. Elliot goes to bed in his own crib at the start of the evening, and then usually after his first feeding, he joins us. Though, now that he is one, it is getting more difficult. He needs to be half-asleep, all ready to settle down in bed with us. Otherwise, he thinks it’s a big party and just gets super giddy. Very cute, but we all miss out on sleep that way.”
“Love co-sleeping with my baby and 3-year-old. Helps all feel unified and able to stay close to each others’ dreams and co-caring. Helped older daughter feel connected to baby.”
“I’ve had all 4 of our babies co-sleep with me, and it was both very natural and very necessary for us. I did not worry about my baby, and he/she could nurse on demand without me having to fully wake up, get out of bed, or go get the baby and sit awake while they fed before stumbling back to bed. It has never interfered with my husband’s and my relationship, I’ve gotten more rest, and it’s been a fairly easy transition to move each toddler to their own bed when the time felt right. After putting them to sleep in their own bed, they’d wake up in the night and come back to our bed. Each night they’d stay longer and longer in their own bed until one day they’d stay the whole night. No pushing, no crying and confusion…just a quiet, gentle, no-tear transition from co-sleeping to sleeping independently!”
Enjoy your rest! Sleep is an essential component to wellness. Trust your instincts as a parent. Listen to your heart and support your curiosity as you discover on a daily basis how your family’s needs are best nurtured.
