At 37 weeks, I’m considered full term. This means that even though I’m not due until October, my baby could come any day now and be considered “on time.” In my opinion (as a first time momma), this is equally exciting and terrifying. However, in the last week, I have scrambled to prepare myself for what’s to come and surprisingly found peace with the whole process. Here are a few things I wish I’d known from the very beginning that probably would have brought that peace on much sooner!
Don’t wing it. This is one of my biggest regrets and quite possibly the reason I felt the need to blog. When I found out I was pregnant, I instantly felt the urge to buy tiny little items, but failed to buy any books, sign up for classes or do much of anything to prepare myself mentally for labor and delivery. I looked at it in a very primal way – women didn’t have the internet, classes and books to prepare them before, so why should I have them? While I’m still pretty sure my body will go into an animalistic mode and take over during labor, I’ll be spending the next 3 weeks researching ways to manage the pain that I should have been practicing since day 1.
Research your options. I have wanted a natural birth since I found out I was pregnant, but was open to an epidural at first (which means I would have given in for certain). It isn’t until recently that I began researching birth options and realized that a hospital delivery was not the only way to go, or even the method that was best suited for me and my family. The idea of a midwife, doula, birth center and birthing tub were quite foreign to me. From what I had always heard about child birth, people made it seem like it should be treated as a serious illness, not a natural, beautiful experience. After educating myself (this still continues daily), I feel much more at peace with my decisions and only regret that I didn’t start my research (and switch to a birth center) sooner.
Talk to other moms. This has been huge for me most recently and goes along with doing your research. Hearing an array of experiences and getting full support from other moms does wonders for your confidence in the decisions you make during pregnancy. You can find private, local mommy groups on facebook and ask ANYTHING – literally from which OB/midwife/pediatrician/baby carrier they like best to advice on disagreements with your significant other regarding raising your children.
It’s up to you to ask questions. In my opinion, I feel that a health care provider should do everything they can to prepare you for what’s to come during pregnancy and child birth. However, I have learned that isn’t really the case. At 36 weeks, I realized that my previous OB hadn’t told me what to do or who to call when I go into labor. Then after my questions regarding a birth plan were brushed under the rug and left unanswered, I figured out that she really wasn’t open to putting my concerns to rest at all. Needless to say, I left the appointment crying. However, if I would have drilled her with questions from the very beginning, my realizations would have come early enough to do something about it sooner.
It’s your body and YOU choose what’s done to it. There are so many procedures, medications and vaccinations that a health care provider may tell you to do that are completely unnecessary. The worst part of all is that we rely on those same people to guide us through our medical decisions, yet they often don’t volunteer alternative options or possible side effects. Know that you have the right to refuse “care” when you don’t feel it is needed, but of course, always do your research to back up your choices and ensure you’re doing what’s best for you and your baby.
It’s okay to be scared, but not to lack confidence. Child birth has been made out to be terrifying which leads the majority of the population to treat a pregnant woman like a leper. It’s okay to be afraid of the unknown, but as a woman, you were made for this. Your body has been preparing you for labor since you were born and having confidence in yourself is crucial to the process.
You can switch health care providers at any time. Once you find the confidence in yourself, ensure that you have confidence in your health care provider. Not just in the fact that he or she is able to deliver your baby, but in the idea that they will do everything in their power to obey your wishes and give you the birth that you want. If you feel this is not something they are willing to do, switching providers is much easier than you think- even at 37 weeks like I did!
Exercise is crucial. The first trimester makes it difficult to keep food down for many of us, let alone work up the desire to exercise and let’s not get started on the sleepiness that the third brings. However, starting a routine to prepare you for child birth at 36 weeks is probably one of the most difficult and discouraging things you can possibly do. Even if all you can manage is a nightly walk and a few sets of deep squats throughout the day, you’ll thank yourself during the labor marathon.
While the list of “what I wish I’d done” could go on and on, these 8 seem to be the ones that haunt me the most in my last few weeks of pregnancy.
What are some of the things you wish you had done? How did you prepare yourself for pregnancy? I’d love to hear your suggestions in the comments below!
It is challenging for parents and providers to care for infants admitted to the Neonatal…
Parenting in the modern world is a balancing act of nurturing close bonds with your…
----------------- For the next Life with Baby podcast episode, tune in for an unforgettable journey…
Welcoming a newborn into the world is an unparalleled experience, filled with moments of tender…
Last week, we partnered with @chamberofmothers to bring more awareness around the Momnibus Act in Washington…
We believe that caring for your children and caring for the planet go hand in…
View Comments
Something that I wish I would have known... Start reading the books about the first year now. Once baby is here, you won't have the same amount of time you do now. And, trust me, you will want to look up a few things in the books at some point.
I felt the same as you...wanted natural birth and felt that women including my own mother had done this and my body would know what to do. I wish someone had told me that you will literally have a moment at some point where it gets so intense that you will be terrified that your body can't live through this BUT everyone I know who had this experience when doing natural for the first time agrees with me that this moment is typically the point where your baby is soon to follow. I wish people had told me that. I might not have panicked as much in the moment. Also I wish people had told me if you make it to the pushing that's the EASIEST part. When you push the counter pressure makes everything go numb. It's such a huge relief compared to breathing through the pain.good luck. You will do great.
My biggest tip to you is to practice relaxing. Yoga is fantastic for this or you could try calmbirthing. Understanding what is happening really helps and to know that what you are feeling is perfectly normal- and unlike the pain you feel when you hurt yourself it is pain with a purpose and you are and will be fine.
Live life in the moment and don't look ahead, you can deal with what is happening in your body now, but there is no way you can deal with the future before it has happened. Trust that you can deal with it when it happens.
Most of all know that birth is not something to be dreaded or feared- it can be an absolutely incredible experience! Wishing you all the very best xx
If you plan on nursing your child, I recommend that you consider nursing-friendly clothing and some comfortable nursing-bras. I wish that I had read some "how-to-bathe/nurse/etc." - that sort of literature on before-hand. For birthI recommend relaxation during labour - let go, don´t tense up, but let your uterus do its job - try to stay as calm as posible and do not welcome in anxiety at all. Contractions are there to help your little child out, and when tensing up during a contraction, the sensation will feel more like pain compared to when you manage to relax. I recomend reading Ida Gaskin or Frederick Leboyer, if you haven´t already encountered her and him. Try to enjoy the delivery - it is probably one of the greatest experiences life has to offer :D Have no fear :D Afterwards you will feel so cool :D
I wish I would have known that my nipples would be bleeding the first few days of nursing and that my baby would only fall asleep on top of me the first few weeks. I did all the classes and books but they don't mention these things. I am also 37 weeks with my 2nd pregnancy now and I feel a little better prepared but every pregnancy and baby is different.
Oh sweetie, you poor thing. No, your nipples should not bleed. Always make sure baby has duckie lips. Get a wide mouth and the whole areola should be latched onto. If it happens this time around, seek a lactaion consult
I gave birth to my daughter 8 weeks ago and it was an amazing experience! You just have to go with your gut instinct and remember that everything your body is doing has a purpose. I did a ton of research prior, switched from a hospital to a birthing center and chose to have a waterbirth, and though I was able to labor in the tub, due to complications I had to push out of the water but was still able to have the natural birth that I wanted. Walk as much as possible, take pictures, read up on nursing and baby's first month at home (I'm just now getting around to reading what to expect that first week home!!), make some dinners to throw in the freezer and keep writing! These last few weeks and the first few weeks at home are time that you never want to forget! Good luck and enjoy your new little one!
All I can say from my experience now one year ago is expect that everything will happen as it is supposed to. And each day at home with your infant gets easier in retrospect although you may not feel that way at the time! Give nursing a fair shot, it's hard work- you and baby are learning! Good luck and I hope you come home happy with your experiences.
I agree with Anne - get some nursing tanks and bras RIGHT AWAY - you won't want to leave the house to get them later, and they make constant feeding so much easier (and more accessible). And load up on nipple cream - I liked Lansinoh's but tried a bunch. Just make sure you have something cuz it hurts! Make ahead a lot of meals that you can freeze and reheat - you won't feel like cooking but need to. Load up on things to do at home while nursing: movies/DVDs/iTunes episodes of a series you've wanted to watch are best because reading while nursing isn't exactly easy : )
What I learned from my first delivery and helped me tremendously with my 2nd: the pain up until the pushing, and especially during the transition phase, is overwhelming. I agree with the lady below that there was a point when I was sure my body couldn't handle it; that what I was experiencing was not natural. With my 2nd baby I had to literally talk out loud to remind myself that the worse the pain got, the closer I was to seeing my baby. Also, that I was the only one who could do the job at hand. With those 2 reminders, I was able to mentally let go of the pain and focus on completely relaxing my body during the contractions. Once you get through that transitional phase, the pushing is actually a relief comparatively. One other tip I learned is to drink a nice cold glass of OJ after birth. Sounds silly, but it helps replenish your body and get you back to normal a little faster. You are going to do a great job!! A wonderful paraphrase from the book I read about the Bradley method is that the medical staff (dr or midwife) are like lifeguards, they are only there to intervene in case you need help. You already have all the skills and everything you need to give birth.
Awesome post Kortney, I am so proud of you!!! At a time when most people would only be concerned with themselves and what is going on with their body and new Babe's arrival, you are blogging and helping others by sharing your experience! You Rock!! Also, had I ever had a baby, I had always decided I would have the baby in the birthing tub, it was named the LeBoyer method after a French Doctor. I watched a documentary on it when I was only a teen but thought that was the way I would go, as a "water baby" (Cancer the Crab astrological sign) myself, it was the calm and gentle way I would have liked to have brought a baby into this world. Whatever way you choose I know it will be the most enriching experience for you!!!