In recent posts, we’ve discussed the benefits of postpartum yoga and even learned a yoga sequence for new moms. Over the past five years, I’ve gotten to teach prenatal, postnatal, and kids yoga classes in New York City and Los Angeles. During that time, I’ve kept a running list of the hilarious / adorable / weird / poignant things I’ve heard in my kids classes. Today, I’m opening up the vault to share those gems with you.
Behold, my top twenty favorite kids yoga moments:
20. As a teacher, I’ve noticed that kids are obsessed with finding out everything about you. During my first teaching job in New York City, this five-year-old girl called me out in front of the class, asking the following spitfire questions: “How old are you? How many kids do you have? Are you married?” After I told her my age (to which she gasped in horror), that I wasn’t married, and didn’t have kids yet, she handed me a book she’d gotten at the school book fair, entitled How To Fall in Love.
19. In one of my younger groups, the kids and I went into Downward-Facing Dog pose and started barking like puppies. For whatever reason, their barking kept growing and growing until the kids were basically howling and I had to convince everyone that the puppies were sleepy and needed to take a nap.
18. Often I’ve had older and younger siblings in class together. One day, my favorite rambunctious three-year-old bounded into class, as she often did, and her six-year-old sister turned to me with the following request, “Please turn off the music. She gets all cracked up.”
17. A four-year-old boy announced, out of the blue, “I am a dinosaur.”
16. One day the kids started rolling themselves up in their yoga mats, so I went around the room and they told me what type of food they were: a burrito, taco, dumpling, or sushi roll. It was my job to run around and re-roll anyone who’d come undone. It was quite a workout.
15. This four-year-old boy ran in circles like a maniac as I implored, “Brian! Brian, will you please find your mat?” After ignoring me forever, he eventually turned around and said, “It’s Brydan.”
14. In addition to wanting to know how old you are, kids are also obsessed with tattoos. While examining the mermaid on my shoulder, a six-year-old told me, “My dad wanted to get a tattoo, but he’s too busy.”
13. I asked my kids in Los Angeles, “What do you love about spring?” and a six-year-old girl answered, “It’s not too hot and it’s not too cold, so I can wear a noodle dress.”
12. I also asked everyone, “Where’s your favorite place to go?” and a four-year-old told me, “Outer space.”
11. One day a ten-year-old girl revealed, “I love David Bowie. I mean I have a CRUSH on him.” I sighed, “I know, me too.”
10. While seated in our opening circle, I found myself asking a three-year-old, “Hey Elsie, could you do me a favor and take your foot out of your mouth?”
9. I drew a picture of Peter Pan and this five-year-old critiqued, “That just looks like a girl in pajamas, but you’re getting close.”
8. A four-year-old boy turned to me, beaming, and said, “Legoland is SO beautiful.”
7. These rad nine-year-old girls kept putting Harry Potter spells on each other and it was getting a little heated so I told them, “Listen! You can do spells in class, but no yelling!” I convinced them to create a whole Harry Potter-related yoga sequence and they were VERY into it.
6. A few six-year-olds tried to teach me how to do cartwheels properly. They had a lot of critiques regarding my form. I was very sore the next day.
5. This eight-year-old and I were talking about how much we loved mermaids and she sighed, “I keep trying to do these mermaid spells I found online, but they never work.”
4. A little girl drew me a picture of a zombie and said, “My zombie is a nice zombie. She eats plants. Her name is Laina.”
3. I was informed by a six-year-old in Los Angeles that mermaid tails have been banned in the United States, but you can get them in Hawaii.
2. This one five-year-old girl used to wear her mat like a cape and say she was Dracula, so one day we did yoga for an entire twenty minutes as Dracula.
1. I told the class I was going home to see my family for the weekend and a six-year-old girl said to me, “When you grow up you have to move away and live in a house or a cabinet. It’s kind of sad, but you’ll get used to it.”
photo credit @delikaist via Twenty20
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