November is, traditionally, a month where in America we celebrate a day of Thanksgiving. We gather with loved ones, over indulge in food, and then turn around the next day and frantically shop all the sales. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong about a good sale! But what if our “attitude of gratitude” didn’t last just one meal on one day of the year, but stayed with us through each day. Especially as we enter into a busy holiday season where the to-do lists are getting longer and the pressure of memory-making is mounting – wouldn’t it be great if we were able to sustain a piece of the joy and gratitude we long for?
Science has been looking at the effects of gratitude for years now and has actually give us some interesting studies on how gratitude affects our physical, emotional, and mental health!
For example, some studies have shown that gratitude improves relationships of all kinds! (Romantic, family, and platonic.)
Some of the physical benefits include reducing depression, reducing blood pressure, improving sleep, and generally improving your overall physical and psychological health! For example, in 2017, researcher Chih-Che Lin discovered that even when controlling for personality, a high level of gratitude has a strong positive impact on psychological well being, self-esteem, and depression.
And participants who completed a four-week gratitude contemplation program reported greater life satisfaction and self-esteem than control group participants.
Those are just a FEW examples.
So, how can we practice gratitude and bring a more grateful attitude into our everyday lives?
How can we take all that we’re learning and transfer that knowledge to our little ones? Let’s be honest. No one is perfect. And all our kids at some point or another have been so ungrateful you wonder what you’re going to do. Whether the chicken nuggets are alphabet and not dinosaurs or a sibling got a new jacket and they didn’t, or they just can’t seem to find anything good about their day…we all want to do our best to raise grateful children! So, what can we do? Practice! And model it!
1. Ask Gratitude Questions
The Raising Grateful Children Project at UNC Chapel Hill has revealed that gratitude has four parts:
In one study, it was found that most parents stay focused on what their kids do to show gratitude, but miss the “noticing, thinking, and feeling” portion. Ask your kids questions that walk them through all four parts of gratitude to encourage the “doing” (like saying “thank you”) more often!
2. Perform Acts of Kindness
Find ways to involve your kids in acts of kindness like helping someone in need, holding a door open for a stranger, doing a chore for a sibling without asking for something in return…these things involve your kids in the joy of serving others!
3. Model Gratitude Out Loud
Like most things in life, we have to model the behavior we want from our kids. Say “Thank You” and express gratitude often. Talk about what you’re grateful for instead of complaining.
4. Establish a Gratitude Ritual
Make it a habit to regularly express gratitude in your family. For example, everyone can take turns at the dinner table sharing one thing they’re grateful for. Or one day a week, everyone can write a note to someone they appreciate.
Eventually, even though a lot of these rituals feel rehearsed, the habit will become more natural, spontaneous, and second-nature for both you and your kids!
Podcasts to Listen To
Books to Read
I Want to Thank You by Gina Hamadey
The Book of Joy Journal by Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu and Douglas Carlton Abrams
365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Daily Gratitude Changed My Life by John Kralik
Books to Read with Your Kids
Look and Be Grateful by Tomie dePaola
The Thank You Book by Mo Willems
My Heart Fills with Happiness by Monique Gray Smith
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