Small steps towards a new identity

Wendy R

Instagram: @wen_ry22


How many of your children did you wear in your carrier?


What was baby's favorite activity in the carrier?

Exploring the world together

Describe your Ergobaby life in three words

Resilience, explore, love

Adding “mother” to my identity was an extremely difficult process for me. It was the complete opposite of what I had imagined for myself. During the pregnancy, I had done my research, prepped the nursery, exercised regularly, and I ate well. I opened a college savings account. I had birth plans, sleep schedules, a jogging stroller ready to go, and intentions for lots of mommy and me yoga sessions.

The reality was a C-section I could barely remember, a colicky baby who didn’t seem to need much sleep, and long days spent inside completely disconnected, with odd thoughts drifting through my head. I’d wonder when I’d get to go back to my real life. Anxiety felt like always being on pins and needles. It made me want to crawl out of my own skin.

This reality had taken me by surprise and left me in shock, unable to move or get out of the house. Even a walk with the stroller was difficult. We tried everything and it seemed nothing worked. We tried a few carriers (including the Ergobaby original with an infant insert) and a few wraps – nothing worked.

The part of the story where it all changes wasn’t a big moment but it quietly reintroduced confidence. Around 4 mo, I was at a mommy and me class and a babywearing expert fitted me with an Ergobaby original carrier. Carly was so snug she fell asleep. I felt comfortable. That confidence I mentioned was from being able to sway gently while hugging her for a really long time.

The Ergobaby carrier didn’t solve all my problems, but here’s what it helped with:
Trips to the store, walks around the neighborhood, and even restaurants and breweries one by one became slightly easier to plan and execute. Thinking about logistics and what to carry with my stroller and how to get up and down stairs and all that stopped creating anxiety because I’d just grab the Ergobaby carrier and go.

But the thing I loved most while wearing my daughter in my Ergo was carrying her so close to me and hugging her and starting to actually feel what it feels like to be confident with this baby. My confidence grew with each outing, trip, or even just attempt at naps in the Ergo. This picture was taken in Big Sur – a trip that took a lot of mental cartwheels with lots of logistics and big “what-ifs” swimming through my head. The Ergobaby helped with those logistics and comforted me by keeping her close. She was 9 months here ?
It’s been about 8 years since I gave this carrier another shot and I’m so glad I did – Being a parent means there will always be new challenges (along with the new and always heart-bursting joys) but I’ve built enough parenting confidence by now that I know we can overcome anything. Now, “mother” is one of my most treasured and important identities deeply ingrained and inextricable… and it all started with a few steps in the Ergobaby original. I am thankful for this carrier and that babywearing expert who came in that day. I know everyone’s journey to parenthood is unique and entirely significant, but my hope is that with this carrier and this story, another parent out there sitting in a nursery with black out curtains, a sound machine, and a yoga ball, a bouncer, and/or a rocker will soon take those first steps towards confident parenting.

January 15, 2020