Miscarriage is hard. Actually, hard is an understatement. The feeling of light exiting as quickly as it had entered feels like there’s no longer need for rainbow or cloud. On July 4th, 2014, I became 1 in 4 women who experienced pregnancy loss.
One of the things that I learned through my experience is that people really don’t know what to say to someone who has endured a miscarriage. After my miscarriage, I was met with the occasional, “I’m so very sorry for your loss” (which is the best thing to say), OR I was met with my least personal favorite, “Well, as least you can always try again,” which for the record, is the WRONG thing to say). Hearing the words, “You can always try again,” felt as if the provider of that disclaimer were announcing that OUR baby and/or experience was comparable to that of a 7/11 lotto ticket… we could just simply try again.
Lastly, pregnancy loss should be honored and recognized. It’s ok to grieve and mourn what was, and now is. It’s ok to walk through grief’s many stages… to feel uncertain… unclear… and to try to wrap your head around what has happened. Your pregnancy was real. What you feel thereafter is also real. Hold and take space for yourself. You are surrounded and held.
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