As I sit here 13 years after I first gave birth, I wonder if any mother is truly ever not postpartum. Postpartum is defined as “the time after giving birth, when the body returns to its pre-pregnant state.” And while many mothers are encouraged to “bounce back” to some pre-pregnancy state, to rediscover sexual intimacy at 6 weeks, and to try to “return to normal” it’s clear that there is no going back.
Whether this is your first or fourth child, every time you give birth, every tiny human that calls you mama - irrevocably changes who you are from the inside out. The changes are emotional, physical, relational, and deeply personal. They unfold over time, and don’t always reveal themselves in a clear and obvious way. So, as we dive into the exploration of what postpartum intimacy is and how we can create nourishing space in our lives for sensual connection, we first have to acknowledge the places in us that have been changed forever. Without this as our foundation we will attempt to return to a youth, a freedom, a body, and an erotic life that doesn’t fit us anymore.
Your Postpartum Intimacy Needs May Change
Change is often the thing we fear the most. So, if you are looking for a path into intimate connection with your partner, the first step begins with your curiosity about what has changed for you. You may not know yet how your body wants to be touched, express itself sexually, or how your intimate needs have changed. You may not have had the chance to discover the depth that is possible in your sexual life because of this newfound depth of love you are able to experience.
To have fulfilling intimacy in our postpartum years, we are asked to shed a former self, an old skin, and step into the curiosity & vulnerability of self-discovery.
And it just so happens that curiosity and vulnerability are part of the recipe for incredibly deep and fulfilling sexual experiences. Below are the 5 areas that will impact and support your postpartum intimate experiences the most.
All About Baby Carriers for Nature Adventures
Choosing the Right Baby Carrier
When it comes to selecting the best baby carrier for summer adventures, there are several options to consider.
Types of Baby Carriers:
- Wraps: Perfect for newborns, providing a snug and secure fit.
- Slings: Ideal for quick and easy use, offering good ventilation.
- Soft Structured Carriers: Versatile and comfortable for both parent and baby, suitable for longer trips.
Discover which baby carrier is right for you!
Factors to Consider:
- Baby’s Age and Weight: Ensure the carrier is appropriate for your baby’s size and weight. For example, Ergobaby’s Embrace Newborn Carrier is perfect for the fourth trimester where baby is small and you’re looking for an easy way to stay close. As they grow, you’ll want to upgrade to an all-position carrier that’s meant for growing babies.
- Parent’s Comfort and Ergonomics: Look for carriers with padded shoulder straps and lumbar support if you’re planning on longer outings.
- Ease of Use: Choose a carrier that is easy to put on and take off.
- Climate and Breathability: Opt for carriers made of breathable fabrics to keep you and your baby cool in hot weather.
5 Ways to Support Your Postpartum Intimacy
Self-Intimacy
Why this is important during postpartum:
Reconnecting with your own body and desires is the first step. After birth, your body has gone through immense changes, and unfortunately many mothers end up last on the list of who needs to be cared for. Self-intimacy—whether through self-care, self-reflection, or self-pleasure—allows you to build your relationship with yourself from the inside out and creates a safe space that is nourishing and just for you. When you feel more at ease and cared for in your body, it’s easier to share intimacy with your partner.
How to practice it:
Most parents I know have a really hard time finding time to be alone. The invitation here is to make the alone time you do get very high quality. Maybe it's a 10-minute shower, a ½ hour bath, or a 15-minute walk around the neighborhood. However you create alone time, fill it with love, comfort, and have a conversation with your body and heart about what they need. I like to do this practice in the bath. I'll close my eyes, feel my heartbeat and quiet my mind enough to let the emotions in my heart arise and be felt.
Vulnerable Communication
Why this is important during postpartum:
The immediate postpartum period can feel like a roller coaster, for many mothers this can last for a few years. This uncharted territory isn’t just with your baby but also impacts your relationship. Hormonal shifts, exhaustion, and the physical and emotional experience of constant caregiving can easily make you feel overwhelmed, and make sexual intimacy feel like something on a to-do list.
The heart and your erotic world are very connected. When you share in open and vulnerable ways, it helps to clear any buildup of emotions or resentment that get in the way of connection. Communication is the way to invite your partner into your experience, where you can share your needs, fears, and desires. Even if it’s hard, even if you feel like a hot mess, and even when there isn’t a clear solution or fix for how you might be feeling - just feeling seen and heard creates space for real intimacy and connection.
How to practice it with your partner:
Set aside time for check-ins, even if it’s just 10 minutes at the end of the day. You can think of it as pillow talk, use this time to share what you’re feeling—not just about parenting, but about yourself and your relationship. I like this format: share something you are grateful for about your partner first, then share try prompts like, “One thing I’m really feeling is”…” or “One thing I need support with is…” Be honest, make it about your experience, and try not to jump to solutions. Make sure both partners get a chance to go. This practice creates a safe space for both partners to stay connected to each other's inner world.
Creating Time for Connection
Why this is important during postpartum:
With a newborn, time often feels like a precious and limited resource. That’s why it’s so important to carve out even small moments for connection to nurture your relationship. When intimacy becomes intentional—even in non-sexual ways—it builds trust and creates safety.
How to practice it with your partner:
First, you’ll likely need to redefine what connection looks like for you both. This is about the quality of the time you do have. It might be a morning tea together, sharing a steamy shower, making out for 5 minutes before bedtime, or my fave - just rolling around naked together massaging each other with no agenda or goal other than to make each other feel really, really good. If finding time to connect is really an issue, finding a babysitter 1x a week for 2-3 hours can work wonders. You can even just sneak off to your bedroom and lock the door, what you’re going for here is time to be fully present with each other, inviting in sensuality, play, and connection - no matter how you choose to spend those moments.
Prioritizing Pleasure
Why this is important during postpartum:
Pleasure may feel like a distant concept when you’re sleep-deprived, navigating new responsibilities, and living in a body that has changed so much - but trust me when I say pleasure is medicine for your well-being. Pleasure—whether physical (like a massage), emotional (like a good conversation), or sensual (like a hot make out session)—releases stress. Pleasure also can stir desire, so if you’re not feeling super connected to your libido, using pleasure as a pathway into intimacy can be profoundly rewarding.
How to practice it with your partner:
If you’re ready for physical intimacy, start with curiosity and exploration rather than rushing toward a goal. This is especially true for penetrative sex, most mothers are told they’re ready at the 6-week mark, and while this might anatomically be true, for many it is just way too soon. Instead of making sex your goal, focus is on what feels good in the moment, whether it’s kissing, playful touch, or simply lying naked close together. I like asking the question “what would make this feel even better”, that way pleasure is always the guiding force. Research shows that couples who center pleasure in their sex lives (instead of centering desire) report having long term sexual satisfaction.
Slowing Way Down
Why this is important during postpartum:
Postpartum intimacy thrives with presence and patience. Where you may have been vigorous and not paying attention to speed before, slowing down helps you and your partner tune into your body, emotions, and needs. Slowness allows for attunement. If you’re pressed for time, just remember that rushing can create pressure, which can inhibit both desire and comfort. By slowing down, letting go of sex being a goal-oriented experience, you create space for intimacy to unfold in a new way.
How to practice it with your partner:
Try to throw out your old roadmap for how you made love. Focus on sensations — and what makes you feel good. Paying attention to sensations like the warmth of your partner’s hand on your skin, how their breath moves, or the weight of their body on you. Slowing down allows intimacy to emerge in a new way, at a pace that feels right for you both. Don’t chase orgasm, open to pleasure together.
The changes in your body, heart, and relationship during the postpartum period give you an opportunity to redefine connection—not as something you rush back into, but as a deepening of what’s possible between you and your partner. By prioritizing self-intimacy, communication, and sensually nourishing moments together, you create space for love and intimacy to thrive in this dynamic chapter of your life.
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This post was contributed by Kiana Reeves.
For over a decade Kiana has been working at the intersection of sex, embodiment, intimacy, pleasure, birth, and wellbeing.
Her work is a holistic & somatic approach to the emotional, biological, personal, ancestral, and spiritual nature of sex & intimacy.
She is a Certified Somatic Sex Educator & Sexological Bodyworker, Certified Embodiment and Intimacy Teacher, Certified STREAM Pelvic Health Practitioner, Full Spectrum Doula, and Mother of two delightful and wild humans.
Exploring Nature with a Baby Carrier
Ideal Spots for a Nature Walk with Baby
- Parks and Gardens: Great for leisurely walks and picnics.
- Nature Trails and Forests: Perfect for more adventurous outings.
- Beaches and Lakesides: Wonderful for enjoying the water and sand, with the right carrier.
Activity Ideas
- Hiking: Enjoy a scenic hike with a hiking baby carrier that offers support and storage.
- Bird Watching: Use your carrier to keep your baby close while you explore and observe wildlife.
- Picnics: A carrier can free up your hands, making it easier to carry picnic supplies.
Advantages of Using Strollers for Nature Adventures
While baby carriers are fantastic for mobility and closeness, depending on the adventure of choice you might want to be a stroller along too.
There are a LOT of baby stroller options on the market. So we understand how confusing it can be to choose the one that’s right for your family. Not only are there a variety of brands, but a variety of strollers that serve different purposes.
There are a few types of strollers on the market:
- Full-sized stroller: This is typically the stroller parents thing of buying for all its versatility.
- Lightweight or umbrella stroller:These compact strollers are perfect for on-the-go adventures.
- Jogging stroller: Designed for parents who want to combine fitness with outdoor adventures.
- Double stroller: Designed for parents with multiple kids, especially twins.
- Car seat carrier: These strollers connect to a specific car seat. We don't typically recommend these as they can be unsafe for baby and uncomfortable for parents who are pushing.
Learn more about the types of strollers and which one would be best for you.
Benefits of Bringing a Stroller
- Storage Space for Gear: Ample room for carrying all your essentials like a diaper bag, beach toys and more.
- Shade and Weather Protection: Built-in canopies to shield your baby from the sun when they are lounging.
- Options: If you have more than one kid, you can stroll with one and carry the other. Or, if you’re getting warm or your little one is getting fussy, you can switch up their position from stroller to carrier or vice versa.
Safety Tips for Strollers
- Ensure your stroller is in good working condition. Make sure buckles are still buckling and that there are no rips or holes that could compromise your baby’s safety.
- Use sunshades or bug nets to protect your little one’s skin.
- Securing the baby properly: always buckle up your baby for safety even if you think they are old enough to go without the buckle.
Combining Baby Carriers and Strollers
For the ultimate flexibility, consider using both a baby carrier and a stroller on your outings.
Combining both options allows you to adapt to different situations. Use the carrier for more rugged trails and switch to the stroller for smoother paths or when your baby needs a nap.
Transition Tips
- Smooth Transitions: Plan stops where you can easily switch from carrier to stroller.
- Pack Light: Only bring essentials to make transitions easier.
Tips for a Successful Adventure
Planning Ahead
- Route Planning: Choose baby-friendly trails and parks. Check local mom groups or outdoor groups and get recommendations for the best outings for kids.
- Check Weather Conditions: Avoid extreme heat or unpredictable weather. Even with our most breathable carriers, when it’s hot, it’s hot. And having two bodies against each other in the heat will be naturally hot and sticky already.
- Packing Checklist: Include diapers, snacks, water, sunscreen, and a first-aid kit. These all-position carriers have storage pockets where you can fit some of the items easily!
- Stay Hydrated and Nourished: Pack healthy snacks to keep energy levels up and bring plenty of water for both you and baby.
Summer adventures with your baby are a wonderful way to create lasting memories and enjoy the beauty of nature together. From baby carriers to strollers, Ergobaby products are designed to provide comfort and ease for both you and your little one. So, gear up, get outside, and explore the world with your baby by your side.
Ready to embark on your own summer adventures? Check out Ergobaby’s range of baby carriers and strollers to find the perfect match for your family’s needs. Visit our website today and start planning your next outdoor excursion!
