Matrescence

It’s not uncommon for expecting parents to consider (ruminate over, perseverate on, agitate in…?) how their identity will fare when “me” becomes “we.”

At LUMO we’ve had thousands of conversations with clients about this very topic. And, while we can’t promise we’ve heard it all, we’ve definitely been privy to quite a mélange. We’ve heard: “I’m going to stay exactly the same. People have been having babies for thousands of years. It’s fine.”

“I see my friends with kids and they’re so ensconced.  They’re not even the same person. Will that happen to me?”

“I’m worried that parenting is going to be so demanding that I won’t have enough energy for work and I’ll lose my professional footing.”

In short, many new parents worry that their managers, family members, coworkers, friends with kids, friends without kids… basically everyone will see and treat them differently. That feels scary. Another concern that emerges for people in partnerships is that their dynamic with their partner will change

Just hearing the words “Mother’s Day” and I feel this knot in my stomach. It’s everywhere, from radio and tv commercials to displays at Target and coffee shops. The imagery of flowers and hearts, cards and candy. So much emphasis on this day as a happy one. I can’t be the only one that feels a mix of emotions, love for my own children, yes, but also an overwhelming sense of anxiety and sadness. Since I was a little girl I remember always wanting to be a Mom. I don’t have siblings, but I played house often and looking back it was always alone. I spent a lot of time alone. Not just because I was an only child, but because my Mom was emotionally unavailable. It wasn’t until I was an adult did I have a better understanding of the abuse I suffered, emotionally, verbally, the isolation and lack of support that led to my own challenges with self esteem and feeling worthy of relationships and receiving love. Becoming a mother, our ability to have healthy loving relationships, is directly tied

Modern motherhood comes with an abundance of joy...and information! For one thing, we have access to seemingly unlimited resources and knowledge on how to mother “best." It seems that everyone has an opinion on how best to raise children. We are overwhelmed with choices on which bed to choose, which high chair, which feeding method, which birth method. With answers close at hand online, it doesn’t take much time to question your intuition. Don’t forget that your mommy intuition is almost a sixth sense! Mothers have relied on their intuition for millennia to protect and nourish their babies. We can still tap into that resource. Many times, having good information and tools can help us tap into that mother’s intuition more readily. I’m here to remind you not to discount your own motherly wisdom. I know personally how easy it is to second-guess my own decisions when it comes to parenting and motherhood, so today I’m sharing three tips that have helped me trust my mommy intuition: Treat yourself

Self-care and self-love receive a lot of hype these days. And in theory, these sound like a dream. But as a new mama, what is realistic? Maybe you haven’t had a good night’s sleep in days. Maybe you have very little time to yourself. Maybe when someone tells you their idea of self-care is a two-hour massage or a day at the spa you feel like they’ve found some magic secret and you’re doing something wrong. In the month of February, love gets a lot of hype and attention but it’s hard to love others well if we aren’t caring for ourselves, first and foremost. I took some time to talk with my fellow colleagues and mamas at Ergobaby that have passed through all sorts of stages of motherhood to ask them some of their favorite tips for caring for themselves as new parents. We thought we’d share some loving and realistic tips for loving thyself in the month of February.

Cut yourself some slack and don’t beat yourself up

You are doing enough. Don’t stress if the house isn’t clean. If you are

 Somehow, my tiny newborn daughter has turned into a beaming and chunky six-month old (seemingly overnight). Although I mostly hate how time seems to fly right through me lately, there are so many things that I love about having a baby as opposed to a newborn. The older León gets, the more connected with her I feel. As I watch her sit and eat and growl and laugh and squeal I feel like I am finally getting to know her. It has been so much harder to bond with her because of my high energy three-year old who takes so much of my energy.

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When I was 17 years old, I felt a lump in my right breast. I had larger breasts in high school and when I mentioned it to my OB she said it was probably a fibroadenoma (a very common occurrence) but referred me to a specialist just to be safe. The specialist suggested we could do a biopsy, but because I also had several other lumps in both breasts that I should stop taking my birth control to reduce external hormones, cut down on caffeine, and we would keep an eye on it. I was young, carefree, and felt invincible. I knew in the back of my mind everyday that the lump was there, that I should do something about it, but I wanted to live my life. I wanted to have fun. There wasn’t time to slow down, take care of myself, be responsible. Fast forward two years later, and at age 19 my tumor had grown to roughly the size of a tangerine. I knew it was time to go back in. I remember being so afraid, sitting in the waiting room surrounded by older