Touching the Stars

When we say that something is “touching,” or we are “touched by” something, we mean that we are somehow moved by it emotionally; that it reaches a place deep within our hearts. This also happens with massage. When we are relaxed enough, and in “touch with” our bodies enough, we are able to access a place inside where all is well in our world. This state is most important in keeping babies and their caretakers happy, healthy, and bonded. Babies are like little stars that came to earth. Their light will shine brighter and brighter as they grow and laugh and feel enveloped in the love that you will bring to them. As parents in a busy world, relaxation is often an overlooked aspect of our health. We make the time to exercise, eat right and hopefully sleep enough, but when it comes time to relax we often are remiss in giving ourselves that “luxury.” How many times do we mean to meditate, stretch, do yoga, take a walk, pray, or take a long hot bath? Not often enough. It’s important to remember to encourage people to choose to think of it as a necessity instead of a luxury. We need to take care of ourselves first, and then, we will be more apt and able to care for others. The better we feel, the more open we will be to the changes that parenthood brings. It is a huge transition to begin the journey of parenting, and the physical and emotional changes can take their toll. So what does this have to do with baby massage? As a massage and Reiki practitioner, one of the important messages I received from my teachers, about giving any type of healing, was that I must only treat others as if I was also treating myself. It makes sense. In taking the time to give to myself, I have the energy and the patience to give to others. This is the place from which baby massage can begin. Don’t massage your baby because he or she is “supposed” to enjoy it. Massage your baby because it is a celebration of the bond between you and your baby and your intimate connection with each other. Bonding has been described as “the reciprocal attachment process that occurs between an infant and the parents, especially the mother. Bonding is significant in the formation of affectionate ties that later influence both the physical and psychological development of the child. It is usually initiated immediately after birth by placing the nude infant on the mother's abdomen so that both the parents and the child can see and touch one another and begin to interact.” (Mosby’s) The word “bond” comes from the word band, to bring together; to fasten together. When you think of it like that it is unquestionable whether massage and touch must be the foundation of a wonderful family connection. This is true especially for fathers who can take an active role in the massaging of infants. This gives the father and baby a chance to share the time and space needed for them to have their own special bond. Often men wonder how they could possibly have a connection with their babies, especially if the mother is breastfeeding. Well, no need to question anymore! With little instruction, anyone who is caring for a child can increase the happiness and security of the baby through touch. Babies are born from a tactile watery world where all needs are met and the temperature is always perfect. Coming to land on earth brought about an abrupt end to that peaceful perfect world. Some babies are literally plopped into a torrent of bright lights, loud noises and huge changes in temperature. Massage is a way that they can adapt to living in their little bodies in a world that has changed for them. This is why the infants of so many cultures are constantly carried on their mother’s backs or cradled across their chests. The constant contact soothes and nourishes the baby and makes them feel cared for and safe. For all ages, people (and animals) who are touched, thrive. That is the fact. Understanding that we come from a culture, and a time, in which we are very aware of the evils of inappropriate touch, it is important to remember, that many people are in fear of expressing their love through touching. But to be held back from giving and receiving the right kind of touch would be wrong. It would be better to raise our kids in the knowledge of the appropriateness of regular, therapeutic touch as a way to heal and enhance their experience of life. There is a Chinese proverb that states: “Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” Countless studies have shown that massage and touch improve the immune system by reducing cortisol levels. When these levels are reduced, our “fighter” cells are able to do their jobs with increased ability. This can help them to keep babies healthy, fight off infections, encourage growth of new healthy cells and in general increase wellbeing. On another level, massage has been reported to decrease anxiety, enhance sleep quality, increase circulation, improve concentration, and reduce fatigue. These are all outcomes that are desired for babies and caretakers alike! Massage is fun, easy and anyone can do it. The main thing to remember is little and often is better than thinking of it as a major ordeal and only doing it once in a blue moon. Think warm, quiet, gentle and caring. Take a blanket or a towel, and lay it on the floor (or other safe surface) before bath time or bed. Gently massage your baby. Look your baby in the eyes, and see the connection there. There is no need for constant verbal communication, but when you do talk use a soothing voice. Facial expressions, smiles, humming and singing can enhance the experience. Like holding a baby and rubbing his or her back, this kind of touch will seem just as natural. There are a variety of methods and techniques, but what is most important is simply to relax, smile and enjoy. Massage is fun. And, if you don’t believe me, ask an expert. "If you never did, you should. These things are fun, and fun is good." --Dr. Seuss

There are many websites that will lead you to books, and videos on baby massage. Two of my favorite books on the subject are: Heller, Sharon The Vital Touch: How Intimate Contact With Your Baby Lead to A Happier, Healthier Development Leboyer, Frederick Loving Hands: The Traditional Art of Baby Massage [Mosby's Medical Dictionary, 8th edition. © 2009, Elsevier.]