I’ve been blessed to have the opportunity to be mom to three little ones. Two came from my body, where they grew inside me, heard my voice and knew how I moved. I ‘wore’ them for 40 weeks before I ever saw their faces. My third child I met in an orphanage in Ethiopia. The first time I held him I loved him, but to him, we were strangers. Welcome to the world of adoption.
Just like many people who have adopted, somewhere in there we always knew that we would adopt. We assumed it would be down the road, maybe after our biological children had left the nest. But one day I clearly felt like God was saying “Why wait when those children are here now?” That was when I started doing a little research.
It’s overwhelming to know where to begin. You can know that there are literally hundreds of millions of children that need parents, but how in the world do you know which one is yours?! Lots of prayer and discussion later we decided on Ethiopia. The process took a little over a year to complete. Flexibility was key! We explored various ages and special needs that we were open to and thought we knew how the story would end. Boy were we surprised!
One day, while checking the Waiting Child List with our agency, America World Adoption Agency, we saw him. A baby! Not what I was expecting at all. He had special needs. He had brain atrophy, which is a super scary term. For that reason we were afraid to pursue him, and so was everyone else, so he stayed on that list for another week until I finally decided to learn about his condition. No one could tell us what his life would look like. Would he walk? He was six months old and he couldn’t lift his head. Would he wear diapers forever? We still don’t know, but I’m really hoping not. Again, lots of prayer and discussion and we took the leap of faith and crossed the globe to get the little angel that now lives down the hall and wakes me up three times a night.
As it turns out, he’s as normal as can be so far. The little guy that couldn’t lift his head started crawling this week.
The doctors say that his brain suffered from failure to thrive, a condition usually caused by general neglect. Orphanages simply cannot provide the love and stimulation that a family can and his little brain was permanently changed because of it. Now that he’s with a family, he’s caught up developmentally and is absolutely the best baby I’ve ever met.
One way that has helped us bond with him is by wearing him in the Ergo. He is literally attached to us for several hours a day and it’s the place that he’s most comfortable and secure. In fact, that’s how he gets to sleep for his naps. That’s probably not ideal, but it works for us!
Babywearing has so many benefits for all babies and young children. For adopted children, in particular, the major bonus is that being in such close proximity helps facilitate bonding and attachment. That’s our top goal. Experts recommend wearing your child for several hours a day. That seems crazy to me, but in this house it happens. The Ergo makes it easy and comfortable for us to multi task. Jude loves being ‘worn’ so much! He’s most comfortable when he’s in the Ergo. Adopted children pass from caregiver to caregiver several times before finally ending up with their forever families. You could probably imagine that seeing new things and meeting new people could trigger some anxiety. When Jude is in the Ergo, we’ve noticed he is far more relaxed and willing to try new things and meet new people from the safety of his little space. In fact it’s the main way we get him to fall asleep. We are so glad that Jude is home with us now. We can’t imagine our family without him.
There are hundreds of millions of orphans around the world who need love and nurturing, just like any child. November is Adoption Awareness month. If you’ve ever considered adoption as a way to build your family, our blog Give1Save1 is an educational (and sometimes entertaining) resource for learning about adoption and making it affordable. Come visit anytime.
This post was submitted by reader Beth Cupitt, as part of our Adoption Awareness Month Series. Beth Cupitt is a wife, artist, and mom to three as well as a blogger for Give1 Save1, an adoption and fundraising blog. You can usually find her in her art studio with a baby at her feet.
Christina is a mama, conservationist, DIY’er, vintage fanatic, dog lover and the Ergobaby director of community.
She is passionate about babies, babywearing, birth, yoga, natural living, and healthy eats. When not online reading and writing about all of the above, she can be found spending time with her daughter, creating their family story in Los Angeles.
